hello my baby hello my honey hello my ragtime gal
what exactly is going on
so we got my as the last person i texted
(looks like you’re stuck with me nerd)
also do pokemon count as a weapon
bc if so i have a charizard willing to burn up some zombies
and banana pudding isn’t that bad tbh i’d be pretty happy if i had a lifetime supply of banana pudding let’s be real
the last person i messaged was my friend Rachel
the last weapon i had was the sanguine rose and fireball from skyrim
and i have an unlimited suply of vegie steambuns, pork steambuns, and golden delight cake
boatloadocrazy, Yuna’s summoning staff, and dominos pizza.
templarsandhoes, Connor’s tomahawk and bow (with arrows) and quorne roast… Not so boned… At least we’ll have the humor and the jokes.. Oh and there’ll be Arielle XD
les-assassins-miserables, Nilin’s spammer from Remember Me and frozen yogurt - LET’S DO THIS
My friend Simone, who’s badass and wants to become a something-ologist and has taken like every science class she could get into. Maybe she could engineer a cure or some shit.
Psychic powers, which include pyrokinesis, levitation, invisibility and telekinesis. Thank the gods for Psychonauts.
And peaches. Isn’t there a song about having millions of free peaches?
Looks like I’m pretty set. Hell yes.
My friend Bella
I think it was a hoe from harvest moon? (If not it was some gun from mgs3)
And a lifetime supply of tacquitos which is good since I ate all of them today
Actual weapon? Overlord’s Axe, otherwise, MINIONS!
A salad… Well..
Sorcerer’s staff and a dagger from Dark Souls
I think we’re good.
Color is something that has always been important to me as an artist and person. It helps me express not just my mood but the stories I am trying to tell. Due to this it is the subject I’ve studied the most out of the years of trying to improve my artwork and storytelling. I am…
Olivia Benson, the most influential woman of my early adulthood, telling you what’s up.
idk i tried to scroll past this but it’s too perfect
if you don’t love benson you’re wrong
Yes, I would like a baby goat loaf, please
I just witnessed this short film called ZERO
About a little guy who is ridiculed by society for an aspect he can’t control (SOUND FAMILIAR?)
Never the less, he’s optimistic and helps those in need.
The ending is absolutely adorable. What do you get when you add two zero’s together?
NO I SAW THIS MOVIE IN MY CREATIVE WRITING CLASS LAST YEAR
THIS MADE ME CRY
I WAS LEGITIMATELY CRYING OVER A TWINE DOLL
THAT MAKES TWO OF US
baby baby baby
This literally just crushed me.
I WILL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER GRUMPY CAT JOKE AS LONG AS I LIVE
mother of god, we have all done a sin
Its like an animal abuse commercial
Everything Beyonce does is careful and thought out. Her entire image is perfection crafted from planning ahead. She does not ‘wing it’ or throw things into her performances and public appearances ‘just because’.
What she did at this award show was amazing, especially because of how intentional and thought out it clearly was.
Feminism is a scary word for a lot of people. Many women are afraid of calling themselves feminist because they think it implies anger, hatred of men, or a rejection of traditional femininity.
Beyonce presented everyone watching with two distinct images of what many viewers viewed as two very different women. There is the strong, independent FEMINIST. She is the woman who likes being in control and being in the spotlight. Then there is the WIFE and MOTHER. She is soft, sweet, smiling at the husband and child you can tell she loves and values so much.
For every girl watching who was afraid to be a feminist, afraid to be powerful, because of what she thought she would lose, this is an incredible message. You can be all the things you want to be. You can be both. Feminists can have amazing happy, full lives full of both traditional and modern womanhood.
Feminism means gender should not be a source of persecution or a restriction of your choices. Feminism mean the type of person you should be is based on what you value, not what outside forces pressure you to value because of your gender or biological sex. Shout at the top of your lungs that you are a feminist and proud. Then go and be the exact person that you want to be.
so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!
here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:
disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.
sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.
so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—
here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:
- it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.
so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE:
- you have to pay for pay per view.
so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”
- AS A FAMILY.
and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.
"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"
as a reminder, a quick table survey:
- my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
- my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
- my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
- me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography
my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”
my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.
my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”
- WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?
"don’t expose my kid to that crap."
- MY KID
- TO THAT CRAP
"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."
- I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
- IN THE LIVING ROOM
but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?
- are you fucking kidding
- i did not want to go to porn prison
the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:
- my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
- my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
- my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences
but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?
- are you fucking kidding
- this is the best thing i’ve ever done
trying to draw ppls bodies after not doing it for a while
I don’t even care how this happened